Friday, June 05, 2009

It's just me, isn't it?

Fanning myself with whatever's handy. Nobody else seems to feel the heat.

But I could put up with that; what's distressing me the most is that I'm trying to deny what else is happening.

I'm finding myself reluctant to commit my nice fabrics to clothes that fit because...I don't want to fit the body that, um, has been growing on me in the last six months or so.

Hormones? Um, probably. And I'm frustrated by the low back problems that have so far this year kept me from doing any kind of real exercise program to whittle my middle.

I don't even recognize myself in the mirror or in photos. Clothes that I loved last year look really bad this year. And, while I know the concept of 'fit the body you have,' I am not at all motivated to do that. This is not the body I want.

I'm not really looking for sympathy; I'm just publicly acknowledging something that I have not really been wanting to admit to myself...that part of my low personal sewing production this year may be due to a dissatisfaction with what I'm working with here at least as much (maybe more) than it is due to an abundance of volunteer sewing projects. The volunteer stuff has just been an easy way to avoid facing the truth.

So that's my Friday confession. I feel better now.

6 comments:

  1. Lisa - I'm right there with you. Nothing in my closet fits, so I am sewing for me. But I'm doing man-style waistbands so when I lose some of this excess I can easily take the pants or skirts in at the center back.

    Lois K

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  2. Pants aren't too bad; I've been doing modified elastic waistbands for a long time and they're adjusting...mostly....

    It's the tops that are looking really strained. Not a good look :(

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  3. Oh I so hear you! I feel the same way - not looking for sympathy but looking to say how unfair is this? Why don't men have to put up with this? I don't want to sew for the body I have currently either. g

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  4. Yeah, know what you mean! However, you look really good to me. You have a real knack for knowing how to put clothes together. Maybe you have just naturally adjusted your outfits to a slightly changing physique (at the moment anyway), because your outfits look wonderful on you! I get ideas from your blog.

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  5. Lisa - it happens to the best of us! I had a moment when it seemed too hard to bear the changes but when I decided to embrace this stage of my life...like I embraced the earlier ones, I found a peace in it. The real truth of the matter is that you can't go back...just like you will never have your 10 year old body again...this last stage is now gone too. Cut your fabric...make something new...believe me it goes a long way towards making you feel better about yourself! :)

    And if you think I'm full of it...please feel free to ignore me! *LOL*

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  6. Thanks, Carolyn, you made me smile... and I know I'm not ever going to look like I'm 20 again. I'd be happy to be approximately the same size I was at 35... but, truth be told, there are a number of health issues that should go away if I can just get over the initial hump and get into a healthier eating/exercising pattern and lose a bit of middle. Feeling good physically would go a long way towards making me feel better about sewing clothes that fit whatever size I happen to be at that point.

    Plus, if I just stay on the course I'm on...there are worse health problems looming in my family history to make me want to try and head off those problems before I have to deal with them! So it's time to do something about it.

    But you're right. I need some clothes that don't make me think 'Ugh! Too tight!' ;)

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